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I know I’m not the first (or the last) person to say that writing is cheap therapy. It really is. I would say for pen & paper writers especially, because it feels like you are really ripping at the paper sometimes, but typing this up I realize that I’m really pounding on the keys, and I guess that’s therapeutic too. But really it’s not the pounding or ripping or doing evil things in another world to the people who have pissed me off. It’s the beautiful moments. The moments where my characters show me that people are people, with all of their faults and irritations and annoyances. And people, for how faulty and irritating and annoying they can be – they are worth it. Especially the people that I love. Especially when they fault/irritate/annoy me. Because really they are showing me MY weaknesses. They are showing me MY faults. And what I’m really angry at is myself.
And the characters are reminding me that there are beautiful moments. There are moments when Kindra turns away from Gar because she can’t deal with the truth she sees in him, and those moments are beautiful. There are moments when Rebecca/Neona yells at Lane/Shawn, and he yells back, and they are both right, but in different ways. There are times when Apollo is at his lowest, feeling most guilty, and Daphne drags him out and tells him not to worry about it. You can’t fix everything.
Those are the moments I wait for in my writing, and I wait for in my life. And sometimes, when I’m upset in my life, and I turn to what I’ve written, I remember those moments and I’m reminded of what really matters. And it’s not what I thought. It’s what I already knew but have only said aloud through them.