The Power of Tension

It’s time for the Power of Tension Blogfest! I thought you all might be growing a little sick of Fie Eoin and it’s off-shoots, so today we are going to see part of a brand spanking new story. One that doesn’t even have a tab yet because it doesn’t have a name.

The rules for the blogfest: “Give us an excerpt (up to 300 words) from your manuscript or recently completed work (or just a random scene) that drips with tension and will tie us in knots wanting to know more. It doesn’t matter what the piece is about, as long as it screams tension.”

And now I present to you: Anna.

Anna woke in the forest.

“Ayeneh?”

She sat up and looked in the direction of the voice. Walking from the trees was a boy, probably just older than her, wearing what appeared to be a long shirt that was belted around his waist, and slippers. His hair fell to his shoulders and he held a torch.

“Ayeneh?” He said again, confusion in his voice and his tentative step forward.

Anna could hardly breath. She had never seen someone in this forest when she woke, and certainly not someone who knew her name. “Who…who are you?”

She backed up as he cocked his head to the side and took another step forward. She was crawling backwards through the damp leaves, her heart pounding as he came closer, his steps more sure now but his eyes still questioning.

He said her name again, softly as if hushing a scared child, and then continued on in a language she didn’t know. Anna backed into a tree and froze, terrified as he came closer. He stopped and knelt over her, studying her face with confusion. A purple stone hung from a thong about his neck, and it flashed with the torchlight as it swung towards her.

She swatted at it as if it were a fly, wanting no part of this strange boy to come close to her, and as her hand connected with it the stone flashed with bright light and she felt a jolt like an electric shock.

When her eyes adjusted she was in her bedroom, her hands grasping the carpet with her back pressed against the wall. She was covered in wet leaves and mud from the forest, but the boy was gone.

*****

Don’t forget to check out the other entries in the blogfest!

And please, if you liked this post let others know! I’m still on vacation and can’t do my own advertising like I normally would 🙂

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Published by

Rebecca Enzor

Rebecca Enzor is a chemist in Charleston, SC who writes Young Adult and New Adult Fantasy and Magical Realism. Repped by Eric Smith of P.S. Literary.

71 thoughts on “The Power of Tension”

  1. Ooooh, very cool. Oh I have a love hate relationship with this tension blogfest! So many awesome excerpts that I want to know more about! Great job, Rebecca. 🙂

  2. Excellent entry – I’m dying of curiosity to know why she’s so frightened of the boy when he wasn’t really doing anything particularly threatening, and the tension as she tried to escape was awesome.

    1. All I know so far is that she wakes up in the forest quite often, and she’s never seen anyone there before. But I’m going to keep storylining to find out 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by!

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