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I have to admit, this scene was pretty challenging. I’m usually a dialogue person, and there is no speaking in the vision tent (except the recited blessings of the priestesses), so trying to get everything across without dialogue was fun, and hard! I haven’t quite figured out how to end the scene yet, but it was getting pretty long so I stopped today’s FEF right after the vision. Enjoy!
THE NAMELESS WARRIOR
Beads of sweat trickled down Kindra Odion’s spine as she sat in the stillness of the vision tent. The fire had burned to coals. The only sound was the crack of the embers and the whispered prayers of the High Priestess as she walked with measured steps between the warrior inductees, blessing their foreheads with her oil-soaked fingers. Kindra’s twin sister, Kaye, followed with a clay pitcher of vision wine.
The long white dress of the High Priestess swished softly as she made her rounds. The woman dipped her fingers in the bowl, placed them on Kindra’s forehead, and whispered her blessing.
“May Eoin recognize your spirit and welcome it as His own. May He bless you with courage in battle, strength to defeat your enemies, and wisdom to know when the fight is finished.”
Kindra bowed her head and the priestess moved on. Kaye stepped into her place and handed Kindra the pitcher. “May Eoin bless you with a vision of victory,” she said with a small smile. The words were the same she said to all of the inductees, but the smile was for her sister alone.
Kindra tipped the pitcher back, taking a long drink of the bitter wine. It ignited a fire in her stomach—the fire of Eoin’s spirit—and her arms and legs began to tingle.
Kaye moved on and Kindra stared at the coals, waiting for the wine’s full effect. Outside the new moon symbolized the death of their childhood. Tomorrow they would be whipped to prove their strength and mark them as Eoin’s chosen protectors. Warriors. Kindra would be the first woman chosen in the tribe’s existence.
The High Priestess threw dried sage on the coals and another bead of sweat rolled down Kindra’s back as a small flame bloomed. Her eyelids sagged and she breathed slowly, forgetting herself as her sister taught her to do. When her eyes closed she could still see the flame, black against the red of her eyelids. The blackness grew until it swallowed her sight.
She woke on the cliff overlooking the village. Wind pulled at her cloak and lifted her short hair from her neck as dark clouds boiled over each other in the north. Thunder echoed off the mountain on the other side of Camden Valley, but Kindra was calm as she stood on the edge of the cliff.
The clouds moved into Camden, rolling over each other until they became monstrous horses. Lightning flashed from their eyes, rain burst from their nostrils, and their hooves thundered down the valley.
The warrior God, Eoin, spoke. His voice was deep and rumbling like the thunder. “Kindra Odion, I will teach you to fly!” A hoof made of cloud slammed into the cliff and it crumbled beneath her feet. Kindra screamed as she fell and the thunder turned to laughter.
Eoin stood on the ground below. Boulders fell around his feet, cracked the whipping rock in half and pummeled it into dust. He caught her wrist before she hit the ground.
What do you think of the new scene? Do you like it better than the whipping scene I started with before? (The whipping scene is still in there, just a few scenes later)