Holy carp, Aledans – where did July go? I’m glad it’s over because the past month kicked my ass, but for Trina this year is flying by. It’s already August, and I’ve signed up for #WriteMotivation again. I have to tell you the truth though: I have no motivation to write. None.
Remember last week when I was musing that the reason Nameless is getting rejected is because it’s not high concept? I was told, quite clearly, this week that the reason is because my writing is still sub-par. Which is so disheartening. I’ve been working on this for eleven years and re-written it several times, and although I know I’ve become a better writer (a MUCH better writer), it’s so un-motivating to hear that I’m still not good enough. That Nameless is going to require another re-write. That Apollo and Book of Souls and anything else I write is still not going to be good enough.
Quite honestly, it makes me want to quit. This entire summer makes me want to throw my hands up and say “fuck it, I’m going back to bed”.
But…eleven years. I’ve worked so hard for this, and come so far, and I’m not the kind of person who likes to lose. It’s not like I can’t learn more. I haven’t hit any walls, just a really annoying speed bump. Or maybe a cop who’s pulled me over going “time to publish” in a “you still have things to learn about writing” zone. The ticket is my first ten pages of Nameless with notes like “the MC isn’t doing anything – she’s being acted upon instead of acting upon something else”, and “lacks description”, and another “your warriors are wimps” (yeah, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that). The fine? Another x-number of years learning how to write.
So although I signed up for #WriteMotivation this month and I’ll certainly try to keep on top of things, it feels a bit pointless. My list is:
1. Finish Transcribing Apollo Edits (preferably by WriteOnCon).
2. Write Apollo query/synopsis.
3. Edit Aleda’s Story and post it weekly.
4. Begin writing Faye and Tarrin.
I can almost guarantee I won’t be participating in WriteOnCon this year (at least not trying to get an agent. I’ll still be looking for writing tips and such). I still plan to edit Aleda’s Story and post it weekly (#2 will go up tomorrow like normal), and I’ll be writing Faye and Tarrin with the comments from my edit in mind. More description. The MCs should be the ones acting on something, not being acted upon. No wimpy warriors (check! There are no warriors in Faye and Tarrin).
Eventually, when I’m ready to tackle it again, I’ll be ripping apart Nameless and re-writing it.
Until then, it’s time to get back to practicing. I’ll see you tomorrow for the second part of Aleda’s Story, and on Sunday for another Custom Pony. Have a good weekend, Aledans.